Thoughts on Online Dating

I’m considering a return to online dating. I had a very, VERY brief attempt at online dating two years ago in the fall of 2015. I had gone months without going on a date, and the situation with the girl I was seeing ended sourly. It was my fault to be honest, I didn’t communicate as well as I should have. But hey, live and learn. I conscripted the help of two of my best friends to help me make a profile on two different dating apps, and aiming to summarize my whole person into a few description boxes and some general information. Sounds easy right? We worked on the profiles over a Chipotle fueled movie night, and I left my friend’s house still feeling unsettled. I had been honest with the questions without seeming too weird, but I felt like it was still a cheap imitation to meeting the real me. And that thought process was evident in how I looked at other profiles. I would spend 5 minutes looking at each profile, wondering what the person was really like and agonizing over the possible merits of dating them, before I even swiped right of left. Obviously this was more difficult that I anticipated. After a few short weeks of this stressful and time consuming process, and even chatting with a few matches I decided it wasn’t for me. I do wonder if the girls that I ghosted took it personally. I hope not. A few months later I met someone in real life and I proudly thought that I wouldn’t need online dating, and that was the end of it.

But after a bit of time we stopped seeing each other and I was back to the life of a single man in his roaring twenties. I had a whirlwind of a summer, moving back to my home state nine hours away and traveling to visit friends and my first professional choreographer gig. The late summer and fall proved just as eventful with the start of graduate classes and working in my lab at my university. I buried myself in work, dance and my church, never stopping to think how I’m going to meet someone. I find myself in a similar position as before, but I have a changed perspective. I’ve heard so many success stories about dating apps, and they have led to different expectations. I know it’s not going to be an easy process, and that every choice is not going to be life or death. Many people go on terrible dates and survive to tweet/post about the story later. A more casual approach to dating, including online dating, will serve me better in the future than inspecting profiles like they are a lab sample. I have always avoided risk and putting myself out there, so hopefully this will challenge me to take more chances in other parts of life as well. Wish me luck!

 

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